The children are older now and have jobs, homes, businesses, leases, mortgages and children of their own but not much else has changed. I took my older daughter, who is expecting her first child next month, to an ABA meeting so that she would know her choices after the baby is born. As I sat there listening to the new mothers telling their stories, my mind drifted back to the time I went to my first ABA meeting. Back then we called it Nursing Mothers Association. I remember I felt completely overwhelmed with love for my tiny son as I sat there nursing him. I also felt quite sure I would never be able to cope with or love another child 🙂
I remember I was worried about the issues and problems I faced in my life at that time. How was I ever going to make ends meet without my job and with the costs of setting up a home, raising a child etc. Fast forward 27 years and I felt tempted to let my mind drift back to that worried state except this time I immediately stopped myself. I was there breathing, living and all in one piece wasn’t I? Isn’t that enough? And I have four strong, healthy and happy children out in the world. It was a wonderful moment of knowing, of acceptance of life as it is.
Some of my dreams haven’t come true yet but most of them have. I’ve been lucky enough to have a life of children; art; learning; kindness; gratitude and love. I found my true love and became healed. I have my tiny home which I could easily live in for the rest of my life and what a blessing that is.
The homeschool journey has taught me so much. My little zen masters have taught me humility, how to love, how to be less selfish and self-focused, how to relax and go with the flow, how to let go of control a bit more, that a life of hedonism is not what it’s cracked up to be, lightheartedness in the face of adversity, humour rather than seriousness – remember to laugh!
It might be 27 years since my first ABA meeting but on this day, this Sunday, here at home with my two daughters I am reminded about the pleasure of a life of domesticity. It’s a lazy day so maybe we are wearing our pajamas and not bothering with make-up or to stay on top of the housework. But we still get things done: the daily conversation here at home is babies and everything that concerns them. We are all sewing and knitting and my daughter is making herself a taffeta skirt for a party and asks for my instructions here and there. I’m knitting jumpers and hats for my new grandson. My pregnant daughter is sewing linen for her baby’s cradle. She managed an embroidery stitch on the school sewing machine and is thrilled at the result – she takes a photo. Exams are studied and essays are written right here on my kitchen table in the heart of our home. My daughter has an English literature essay to write so I am called in to help. I’ve stewed the apples that my son-in-law brought home and we have enough for three apple pies. The smell has permeated the whole house. He brought home ice-cream from his shop tonight to eat with it.
It’s 27 years later and the homeschool journey continues … 🙂
Written 2nd March, 2018