Poets Are A Weird Mob:

I get up before the sun,

And before the household,

So I can write poems for you,

It comes out of my fingers.

In reams.

One day when I finally meet you,

I will give them to you and,

Unless you are a poet,

You may not understand,

The significance.

You’ll hand them back,

And with a half smile,

Politely say, “That’s nice,”

And I’ll know: they were,

Too long, too childish,

Too unnecessarily tender,

Not profound & brilliant enough.

And I’ll think “nice,”

They were nice!

Is that even a word?

Do we even have it in our language?

Can you break that down for me?

Can you think of other words instead of that?

Can you elaborate at all?

And I’ll be tempted to say,

“Maybe you should take an English class,

To increase your vocabulary,”

But of course I can’t say those things because,

Then I’m being picky, arrogant,

Vitriolic & spoiling for a fight,

And I don’t want to be,

Accused of those things again,

And then you’ll try,

To have sex with me,

But the thing is,

It’s not about nice and

Certainly not about sex.

So then I’ll be alone,

Once more dreaming about,

My next one-true-love,

…Where for art thou?

asunrise

My Magnum Opus:

Is it? Is my work going to live? I wanted to be a writer, that’s all, I wanted to write about it all – everything that happens in a moment – the way the flowers look when you carry them in your arms, how it smells, how it feels. All of our feelings – yours and mine – the history of it, who we once were, everything in the world, all mixed up, it’s all mixed up and how we want it all and . . . I failed!”

Virginia Woolf – The Hours (Mrs Dalloway)

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From the very core of my being, as a writer,  I can relate to this sentiment wholeheartedly. How we make ourselves busy, going about our lives thinking we’re doing very important things and how one day, any day now, the masterpiece will get written and everything will slot into place like a jigsaw puzzle.  But … then the realisation. This is my very important thing. This is my Magnum Opus. My wildest dreams came true the day I birthed my children into this world (and as I stood there outside the door anxiously waiting for my grandson to be birthed). This is my true calling and vocation and today is the day that my life changes forever 🙂

collagefam345ty collage tome

Everything I know about writing practise…

I learnt from my mother: nothing, absolutely nothing stopped her. Not husbands coming and going, poverty, sickness, a house full of children, friends & relatives dropping off the perch all around her. The show must go on … she said 🙂 Thanks mum!

umbr

Journal entry:

My children and I weren’t born with silver spoons in our mouths: quite often we were alone together and their fathers were absent for whatever reason. There were no hands-on grandparents to help out, no high-flying career to bail us out of tough financial times. But you know what? You don’t get strong by swimming downstream without a current. The outcome of all of that is that there is an unbreakable bond between us and my children’s ability to endure and apply themselves to hard work and tough circumstances takes my breath away 🙂

girl gif

The Long & Winding Road

It’s so important not,

To look a gift horse in the mouth,

So when she said,

She could help her,

She was quite delighted,

“I will integrate all of your splits,”

My oh my!

But she pushes down her hope,

She swallows it,

Because Black Swans only think,

They are Black Swans,

And Ugly Ducklings are,

Dogged by bad luck – persistently.

How can that change?

girl and hands

 

A Fight To The Death:

In my sleep,

I am an Angel fighting the Demonic forces,

I use reason, wisdom, love and patience,

From behind my shield;

Never wishing to do bodily harm.

 

The sinister laugh reverberates,

Through my entire being,

But I do not wither away for I am full of light;

All encompassing and saturating.

 

“Be gone, foul-stinking, swamp creature of the night,”

And it shrinks from me without defense,

My light wraps the entire place,

Guarding all who slumber within.

 

The deed is done,

The battle is fought,

A moment’s peace before I resume.

 

A creak – what was that?!

I leap from my resting place to check my charges,

One by one, I place the blankets over them,

And kiss their cherubic, sleeping cheeks.

 

All is well in my house so,

Back to battling demons but,

Before even that,

A silent prayer to whoever is listening,

For the blessing of my children,

For in truth, I am just a mother …

Demon hunter

 

 

 

 

 

The child in you needs love too:

Little babies grown into big people,

She didn’t know it would feel like this;

She was always on the lookout,

For someone who might need her,

But then she realised;

Maybe at this stage of life,

It was time for her to rescue herself,

She strokes herself tenderly …

even though he threw her life into chaos she still loves him mona

 

Daddy, I’m running on empty…

Is that you, daddy?

Is that you haunting me?

It’s time to say goodbye,

So take your noose and fly.

 

I’ll blow you a kiss,

But just remember this,

Don’t take it the wrong way,

Don’t make me regret,

Having my say.

 

Because little girls don’t know,

They just don’t know, daddy,

And I was just a little girl,

After all (I can’t make you happy)!

 

And because of you,

I can’t fill up,

Not even with the wrong men,

At the wrong time and,

In the wrong place …

girl running on empty since daddys curse

 

Don’t Fence Me In:

She couldn’t be owned,

Freedom was her only desire,

The men came and offered,

Themselves to her,

She dips her toe into the moon,

And then dives in;

The lunacy of her cycle is upon her,

She may want him now,

But she won’t in two weeks.

The roller coaster begins its ascent.

girl and cat

 

 

A quandary, a quandary:

Hermits would rather write,

Far into the night,

And watch their words take flight.

And pickled men will lose the fight,

When they see that she won’t bite,

She wants their sex, But that’s not right!

Unless she slaves for them in the daylight,

Dragging up their brats,

With all of her might,

So stick to writing on this night!

she reads his words again before saying yes to herself and then falling to sleep