The moment I got a chance I went to a bar…

And found a man who was a replica of you,

Your doppelganger actually:

Your face, your hair, your physique,

And I had him make love to me,

The exact same way you had described it,

In your letters,

Even including me reaching back,

To you – I mean him – for a kiss.

It was supposed to,

Turn back the clock,

To you – it didn’t,

It was supposed to be,

The pinnacle of my life;

The most telling,

Moment in my history.

It wasn’t.

agirlclock

Divine Retribution:

She doesn’t know where he is,

What he’s doing or who he’s with,

She only knows the ache for him,

She only knows that now he’s

Just another statistic:

His life turned to ashes,

The moment he hurt her,

(She had the garage door down,

And the engine was running),

He’s the fifth one now who has

Met with cruel & diseased suffering,

A young & tragic death,

But as they say,

Karma is a butt kicker.

She switches the screen off,

She fixes her eye mask in place,

She smooths down the sheet,

And allows the crashing waves,

On the nearby shore to soothe her,

Into another dark & empty sleep.

girl and wolves

At The Round Table:

She’s not sure she thinks of herself as attractive anymore:

The daily battles had whittled her down so that there was nothing left,

Just a soul-less sack of saggy flesh and brittle bones that would make good compost,

Besides, the only thing she knew for sure about love was that it was transient,

And yet in the five years since she had vowed to never get close to another man,

She’d had three wonderful relationships – each one better than the last,

And leading her closer to the holy grail (but delusions are tricky things),

God give her strength!

girl alone

 

 

 

She Sleeps With The Light On…

. . . Just in case,

The night is still,

There’s not a sound,

Except the rumbling of a distant truck,

Which propels her into a memory;

It was of the time when she had her babies,

A marriage bed full of passion, youth & hope,

It was a time long before these lean times.

 

She sleeps with the light on because . . .

The phone might ring;

The Angel of Death in Her chariot,

Has swept down again, mercilessly and,

In her cruel and twisted way has,

Extracted another of her loved ones.

 

She sleeps with the light on,

So that the memory of her lost loves,

Doesn’t overwhelm her,

Because they can’t – you know – if you have the light on,

The memory of the contour’s of their bodies,

Their gentle or wild thrusts,

Their whispered indulgences,

All held at bay.

 

She sleeps with the light on,

To stop the snoring in the empty room,

The footsteps on the hallway boards,

The growling from the ceiling,

The ghosts remain invisible and can’t see you,

Or hurt you with the light on.

 

She sleeps with the light on,

So that if she wakes with a night terror,

She will instantly see her lovely things around her,

And, after some time,

Gain some comfort and soothe herself back to sleep.

 

She sleeps with the light on,

Because she doesn’t know what awaits her in the black dimension;

Dreams of babies long gone,

Lovers lost, souls removed from her life by death,

Quick as a flash and still half in slumber,

She can grab her pencil & paper,

And jot down the rhymes – such as this one – as they come to her at 3am.

umbr

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mr Wordsmith:

She liked to “rescue” the hopeless cases,

Or that was what she was told anyway,

But also, he had to have a way with words,

To read her soul, to woo her back as she was walking away,

Reminisce over the good times,

Talk to her about nothing, in particular, to relax her,

Gratefully receive her mementos of love (poetry mainly),

If all of these boxes were checked, then yes, she’d take it!

He would become the latest soon-to-be ex,

Completely worthy of her love.

man and brain

 

 

Sunshine on a cloudy day:

I knew you before I read your words,

I sensed your spirit and spoke with you,

Before ever I saw your name,

And there you were shining like a ray of sunshine,

“Don’t get too carried away, though” I told myself,

“Life is still life, after all,”

This dark night of the soul has me drowning in plasma,

The scream from my soul piercing,

The eardrums of the Angels above Earth,

And I’m numb – so grotesquely numb,

. . . and there you were.

girl0954

 

 

Internet Lovers IIII

I get to the mornings,

And the poison leaks away from the black nights,

If I really loved myself,

I wouldn’t keep putting myself through this,

But there’s this hope

That what we have transcends all,

Does it?

I’m not sure my mirror will keep lying,

And so I wait . . .

girl mirrir

 

Internet Lovers III

He called her his “Little Nut,”

Because every mighty oak,

Started out as a lil’ nut that just wouldn’t quit 🙂

So she spends her days waiting for him,

To wake up on the other side of the pond.

 

Her 3am became the breaking of the fast.

He was like lightning in a bottle,

On that screen,

And she had to drink it,

Had to feel it coursing through her veins.

making love

 

 

 

 

Your Cleansing Grace:

It’s as if you feel unworthy of my love,

When the truth is that every man gets compared to you;

I went with him, because he reminded me of you!

Because, the garage door was down!!

And the car engine was running!!!

 

It was like living on a rollercoaster inside a maze,

But then came the realisation;

Do you think you can take me down that easily?

 

I go within to transform what you did to me,

Into prose and poetry,

 

Gratitude my friend,

For such a cleansing grace,

I am broken, but not dead,

Not yet anyway,

 

Watch me rise!

defender of rights, slayer of bad deeds yet still awaiting her love

 

 

Internet Lovers II:

It’s true,

Some of my dreams didn’t come true,

But then again, most of them did,

Every love seems better than the last,

And that’s because it is.

 

Had he been waiting,

For someone like me?

I’m a dime-a-dozen,

I can admit it, but him!

Even with his walls & his mess inside,

I am NOT REPELLED,

I’m still gazing from afar.

chair girl mona