Guess what I just did :)

Well, I’ve really gone and done it this time 🙂 In my frustration at myself for feeling like a failure for achieving virtually nothing with my writing for three years (apart from keeping my toe in with Social Media groups and writing blogs, memoir & poetry), I’ve signed up for Uni!!
Those who know me and who have been following my blog will not be surprised at all since I’ve been floundering with my writing for what seems like an eternity, have been at an impasse and entirely unsure about which direction to take… I’ve had to accept that as far as book writing is concerned, I’m at the other end of the tunnel now.

It’s time, overdue actually, for me to start thinking about learning new skills to take my writing to another level so I’ve signed up to a University course that will allow me to do that. Finally, I feel like I’ve made a big decision – the right decision – that will take my life in an entirely new direction and hopefully there will be a pay cheque at the end of it 🙂

Now that my schedule has emptied out – my grandson is at school and my son no longer needs me to transport him to his course during the week and now only have one child living at home – I actually have time to think about what I want for a career and how to make that happen. Already I feel as if I have elevated myself to a different place and am feeling so much more happy & positive about my life. The thing is, I’ve been wanting to go back to school for 30 years!! Yes, that’s right, that’s a long time to be waiting to live one of your dreams and now is MY TIME 🙂

 I’m so ready for a change. Wish me luck 🙂

Peace & love,

Linda M Malcolm

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My Magnum Opus:

Is it? Is my work going to live? I wanted to be a writer, that’s all, I wanted to write about it all – everything that happens in a moment – the way the flowers look when you carry them in your arms, how it smells, how it feels. All of our feelings – yours and mine – the history of it, who we once were, everything in the world, all mixed up, it’s all mixed up and how we want it all and . . . I failed!”

Virginia Woolf – The Hours (Mrs Dalloway)

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From the very core of my being, as a writer,  I can relate to this sentiment wholeheartedly. How we make ourselves busy, going about our lives thinking we’re doing very important things and how one day, any day now, the masterpiece will get written and everything will slot into place like a jigsaw puzzle.  But … then the realisation. This is my very important thing. This is my Magnum Opus. My wildest dreams came true the day I birthed my children into this world (and as I stood there outside the door anxiously waiting for my grandson to be birthed). This is my true calling and vocation and today is the day that my life changes forever 🙂

collagefam345ty collage tome

Where Love Goes To Die:

I didn’t know that the disease in your mind,

Would become gradually worse as we aged.

 

We were supposed to grow old together,

You were my best friend!

 

But I didn’t recognise you anymore,

I didn’t feel safe – I chose life.

 

In my heart I will always be married to you,

And only you, until the day I die.

 

Your Cleansing Grace:

It’s as if you feel unworthy of my love,

When the truth is that every man gets compared to you;

I went with him, because he reminded me of you!

Because, the garage door was down!!

And the car engine was running!!!

 

It was like living on a rollercoaster inside a maze,

But then came the realisation;

Do you think you can take me down that easily?

 

I go within to transform what you did to me,

Into prose and poetry,

 

Gratitude my friend,

For such a cleansing grace,

I am broken, but not dead,

Not yet anyway,

 

Watch me rise!

defender of rights, slayer of bad deeds yet still awaiting her love

 

 

Friends for life:

There will come a day,

When all of those people who were there for you,

Have gone – fallen by the wayside,

And that’s when you have to make do with you

And just hope like hell that you’re someone who you can tolerate,

Because it’s a long, insufferable life if you don’t like the company of you.

Bathe yourself in self-love, wrap yourself in barbed wire,

Place yourself at the uppermost part of the ivory tower,

And then take your key and unlock your imagination because it will be your companion for life.

girl and lost hatawa kyty3oba

 

A Fight To The Death:

In my sleep,

I am an Angel fighting the Demonic forces,

I use reason, wisdom, love and patience,

From behind my shield;

Never wishing to do bodily harm.

 

The sinister laugh reverberates,

Through my entire being,

But I do not wither away for I am full of light;

All encompassing and saturating.

 

“Be gone, foul-stinking, swamp creature of the night,”

And it shrinks from me without defense,

My light wraps the entire place,

Guarding all who slumber within.

 

The deed is done,

The battle is fought,

A moment’s peace before I resume.

 

A creak – what was that?!

I leap from my resting place to check my charges,

One by one, I place the blankets over them,

And kiss their cherubic, sleeping cheeks.

 

All is well in my house so,

Back to battling demons but,

Before even that,

A silent prayer to whoever is listening,

For the blessing of my children,

For in truth, I am just a mother …

Demon hunter

 

 

 

 

 

The child in you needs love too:

Little babies grown into big people,

She didn’t know it would feel like this;

She was always on the lookout,

For someone who might need her,

But then she realised;

Maybe at this stage of life,

It was time for her to rescue herself,

She strokes herself tenderly …

even though he threw her life into chaos she still loves him mona

 

Not Getting Any Younger:

This alone time;

It never lasted long,

Tick, tick, tick,

Says the clock

That’s right!

Time to inflict herself,

On another unsuspecting:

You don’t run from,

Four weddings & a marriage,

Without there being,

Some kind of atonement,

The past was catching up with her,

Karma doesn’t stay buried in the ground,

She tells herself she doesn’t need him,

(to keep him safe),

But there’s that damn ticking again,

And time doesn’t grow on trees,

You know!

time and tree

 

 

The Test:

She knows it’s a test!

He’s lying there,

In the next room,

And somehow she must resist:

Throaty nothings whispered,

Into her ear,

And that pelvic thrust…

But no, no!

She must resist,

Drowning in her desires,

But this time she would pass the test.

girl0987uty

 

 

Retribution:

His eyes bore into hers,

Just for a second,

And in that moment,

She saw his fantasy of her,

– how he wanted her.

 

But divine retribution,

Always has its way,

And she would not,

Make him a victim,

Of her love;

Just another casualty.

 

So she released him,

Back to domestication,

Quite like a balloon.

man0976