“Did you miss me?” she asked …

“I guess so,” I answered, without making eye contact, as nonchalantly as I could.

“I did it to punish you,” she said casually.

“I know,” I answered, flicking through the mail.

“But every time I saw salt I would think of you and start to cry,”

“Oh really?” She knows how much I love salt.

“Were you crying into your cup of tea and pouring through old photos of me?”

“No,” I answered honestly, “I just kind of got on with my life.”

By now she was blinking back tears. Poor, dear thing: she’d never engaged in open warfare before and had no idea who she was dealing with – me; war torn, battle weary, permanently on my guard, defensive, jaded after all of the single and hand-to-hand combat missions I’d endured over my life – I was not about to start making tactical errors now.

“Would you have crumbled and died if I hadn’t come back?”

“Um, well, it would hurt for a while and then I guess I’d get over it,” I heard myself lying.

Her eyes met mine and we held that gaze.

“Come here,” I said with my arms outstretched and she melted into my embrace.

“I love you,”

“I love you too. It’s history now, leave it where it belongs,” and the dam inside of me receded a couple of inches, just enough to let me start breathing again.

Then we went straight back to chatting about the books we’d been reading as if nothing had ever happened.

atoughgirl

Grrrr, after waiting all of this time –

Not happy Janet: I’ve waited nine long months and been very patient when my website crashed and burned last year only to find that now that it’s back up and running, there’s stuff everywhere and all of my carefully chosen pictures have disappeared! Where do I even start to fix this?

Later: okay, my tech support girl has said I use too many pictures and that they’re too big and that’s why my website crashed so I’ve tried to change things as much as I can. Some of the posts are still missing pics but I guess that doesn’t matter. I have deleted seven pages as they were just drivel that made me feel like I was losing my mind when I was reading them 🙂 Hopefully my poetry has improved somewhat since then. This website still needs a lot of work so bear with me. If there are any handy hints you can give me I would be very grateful. Cheers.

acomputr

Another magazine article quoting my website posts…

This article made me chuckle because Barry Dorr has the audacity to say that it’s only a few authors that are unhappy and that authors have a real chance at sharing in the profit by signing with Jojo. What a load of rubbish! There are 250 authors out there and as far as I am concerned none of them have been paid or “shared in profits.” There are at least 50 authors that invested between $10,000 – $40,000 of their own money and to add further insult to injury, just today after authors have placed calls directly to the Asian printers it has come to light that only 1300-1400 books were printed instead of the promised 3,000. So what were we forking all of that money out for again?! Oh that’s right, to fund Jojo’s overseas trips.

Wouldn’t you just know it!!

My publisher has gone into liquidation right when I was about to go to mediation at the Small Business Commission to finally get the royalties they owe me! Damn!

ajojo

Breaking news …

My Solicitor is going to have the contract with my Publisher rescinded, since they broke it within six months of publication of the first book. That means that all profits from my books will come directly to me from now on. Yay!

 

books krista hopkins

We talked until the wee hours again last night…

… you’ll never know how much I love you, how much your pain is my pain and that watching you go in and out of your dark night of the soul these past years tears me apart inside. But keep coming back to talk to me, don’t ever stop, I want you to always feel that I’m here for you. And I know we’ll make it – you and I – because today is a new day and tomorrow you’ll feel even better and when you crash and burn again, I’ll be here …

alive

How is my Publisher going to explain this… ?

Preview of program set to go to air tomorrow, Sunday 13th September, 8.05 am on ABC Radio National

For those of you who are aware, I am currently involved in legal action against my Publisher Jojo. Here is an example of what’s going on: they have charged 250 authors $2,000 each for air fares to the Frankfurt Book Fair which adds up to $500.000 and apparently they didn’t even attend.

Later: or download the podcast at ABC Radio National Background Briefing.

Journal entry:

My children and I weren’t born with silver spoons in our mouths: quite often we were alone together and their fathers were absent for whatever reason. There were no hands-on grandparents to help out, no high-flying career to bail us out of tough financial times. But you know what? You don’t get strong by swimming downstream without a current. The outcome of all of that is that there is an unbreakable bond between us and my children’s ability to endure and apply themselves to hard work and tough circumstances takes my breath away 🙂

girl gif

35 was my lucky number:

Maybe it was time to go back,

She knew he would be there waiting for her,

But then she remembered his emotional betrayal,

She hadn’t rekindled their connection for that!

She was trying to improve her life,

Not to take a step back.

 

There are silent battles and steep hills,

But she’s spread-eagled on the ground,

With shield & weapon flung aside,

And her breath just won’t return,

Love had become her enemy,

And the summit seemed ever so far.

girl and man one by one

 

 

 

The Artist’s Way:

She gave her only tomato to her son,

It’s ok,

She’d forgotten how they tasted anyway,

Her poor, thin body was eating itself,

But her audience liked her poem,

So that was something,

Can one live off adulation alone?

crone by leon rogers