I recently left a luncheon because the guest next to me made a racist comment:

It’s true, this really happened a couple of weeks ago but I probably should start at the beginning. I had been seated next to a pleasant looking older woman who I didn’t know. She struck up a conversation with me and I could tell by the way that she spoke that she was a bit of a rough diamond: you know what I mean, she seemed kind hearted and funny enough but I had this vivid picture of her in my mind of someone who would go to footy games, swill beer, shout obscenities at the ref/umpire, eat meat pies with sauce straight from the brown, paper bag (not that there’s anything wrong with that, it’s just not who I am). 


That kind of thing doesn’t bother me because I’m nothing if not tolerant and I was not there to make judgements and come off as conceited: meeting new people is always fun and variety is the spice of life and all experiences help me in my work as a writer and poet. I live in a small country town and there are a lot of ‘country people’ who drive four wheel drives which are vehicles used to go out on the rough terrain and hunt etc. A lot of these vehicles have bumper stickers that say things like “No racism, no action,” which I find very baffling.


But back to the lunch guest: little alarm bells started to go off when she was obnoxious to the waiter – I felt sorry for him because he was just trying to do his job the best he could – and she kept aggressively trying to engage me in conversation when I was conversing with others; apparently she was being ignored.


It was in between the main meal and the dessert that the racist conversations started. Everyone had had a few drinks (I’ d had a few sips of champagne only to fit in but I don’t really like alchohol) by then and people started to relax. I have to remind myself at times like this that everyone’s entitled to their opinions and that of course they don’t know how passionately I feel about racism and so I just let it wash over me like water off a duck’s back and remain silent. But then this guest next to me made a very derogatory remark about a whole race of people: I won’t re-tell the entire conversation because I don’t want to offend anyone but suffice it to say that she used the word “ragtop.” I turned to my husband and told him it was time to leave.


I’ve learnt this in the Italian community: the ambience at mealtimes is to be preserved at all costs and being such a loving, peaceful people if someone steps out of the boundaries of politeness and civility the host or the offended party will announce that they are “going outside to get some air,” or, if they are offended in any severe way they will make an excuse to leave. Italians don’t go for the jugular (not in my experience anyway): they don’t use their words to offend or retaliate but they do use their actions to make a point – drive their message home. 


I don’t know if she, the racist guest, took my hint and I’ll probably never see her again (one hopes) but these days I’m all about trying to build awareness for my social causes one of which is racism which is why I touch on this subject in my second children’s book The Blue Seal Of Trinity Cove. You’ll never find me out picketing in the street or entering into heated debates on the subject: I prefer to leave just a little, subtle clue in the mind’s of others that might have them later on thinking to themselves, “gosh, that Linda seemed so nice and kind and funny and yet when I started making racist jokes she just clammed up and then left – maybe I should keep my mouth shut a bit more in the future.” And you never know, maybe some of the bigots that have been taught to hate since birth will actually rethink their entire belief system on the subject, that’s what I pray for anyway.

questions -ask






























Thank you to Sat Biswas who spoke so highly of me on our social media network, Google Plus:

” Thank you to Adrienne Joleigh for her scuba diving skills that today I am able to present to you a lovely, salty ‘n spicy catch in Linda Maree Malcolm. She is absolutely brilliant as a fish (her writing is testimony to the fact) and as a first fish in the world to innovate a saucy word . . .“Litmance”. . . now you want to know what’s that and then knuckle your lazy fingers and hit her profile . . . I bet you would find her (of course her) amazing! Now don’t doodle for long as her words would start to cast spells on you! And I bet you’ll never recover 🙂 🙂 So guys, hit her profile (not her of course) and enjoy the words that are being weaved over there! If you don’t find much . . . order Yo Chef! She will create Litmance.”

It's true, I like to go deep.
It’s true, I like to go deep.



As you know I went back to work last week and while I was staring out of the tearoom window from the shop it occurred to me that we have this lovely view that we just take for granted – it’s a wild and tangled mess, a footprint of Mother Nature, and all of the little purple wildflowers were sitting up and smiling at me. Then on the weekend I took myself off for a long walk at Badger Weir: the creek was flowing so fast and full that it had broken the banks in places and – drumroll please – I was lucky enough to hear the beautiful repertoire of a lyrebird (they have many bird calls stolen from other bird types) and caught a glimpse of it before it scurried away into the forest (no photo, sorry).







I know I don’t have the right to whinge, some people didn’t even wake up today, but honestly, why does it all have to hit at once? It makes if very difficult to stay positive:

  1. Before I had opened my eyes and before my ritual two cups of tea one of my children called in a favour for the third time this week. I used certain expletives that I immediately regretted instead of just saying no.
  2. I noticed that my left earlobe and fingers had turned a purplish/pink colour and immediately thought of that disease where bits of the body wither and die – leprosy. I decided to keep watch instead of panicking instantly.
  3. My child had decided that they have a life threatening illness (not sure where that hypochondria comes from) and had threatened drastic action if I didn’t take them back to the doctors for more tests.
  4. My other child who is actually quite ill (they resemble a zombie from Walking Dead) and couldn’t get out of bed refused to see the doctor!
  5. Because there was no internet connection I decided to write a business email and then just send it later when the connection came back. It was a full page email and just as I was about to sign off my computer shut down to do an ‘update.’ At this point the laptop was almost thrown out of the window. Luckily, 10 minutes later when I could switch it back on the email had mostly been saved.
  6. Finally the internet came back on but all of my social media networks and emails had locked me out and demanded usernames and passwords to get access. I was scrabbling around in the dark searching through my many scraps of paper next to my bed, next to my chair,in my drawer, on my desk – there are just too many of them to remember, they have all been put onto scraps of paper and one day, when I have the time. they will be collated.
  7. I had a 3 hour trip of errands I had to run that day and dearly wished I had an assistant to help me. On my travels I noticed lots of digits everywhere 0’s 1’s 2’s 3’s 4’s 5’s 6’s 7’s 8’s 9’s which was very alarming – this basically means I am screwed.
  8. I had also drawn the Tower card this morning which also basically means I am screwed so I ate chocolate for lunch and started to feel a little better and then, the sun came out and I realised that getting out of the house had actually been the best thing for me, it helped to clear out the cobwebs, I began to see the humour in everything and I came home with a much more positive state of mind (the chocolate certainly helped too!)
  9. shining



He wrote one sentence using 13 words and two ellipses’s and she fell deeply and horrifyingly in love:

“I know what you mean . . . it’s not just you . . . this connection between us.”

She thought that meant that she could show him her poetry, could speak to him about her feelings for him. She had never been more mistaken .


Written by LM Malcolm

used on FB



aethism and annoyance

Do I have your attention? This is something I’ve been wanting to write about for a long time but I’ve been waiting for my new website. Yes, it’s true, guilty as charged your Honour, I fit all of the labels above and I make no apologies for it. The people in the Pagan/Witch camp think I should fully commit to their side and the people in the Catholic/Christian group can’t understand why I continue with my other beliefs. My opinion about that is, you know what, it’s none of your business and I don’t feel I have to justify myself to anyone – my life, my rules and I would rather go without friends than feel I am being pressured to conform.

It takes a lot to make me angry but this is something that’s been bugging me for a long time. Why do aetheists think it is their moral obligation to force their opinions down the throat of Christians? I mean, I don’t push my views onto them, I don’t even ever enter into conversation with people about religion if I can help it so why do they think I want to hear what they have to say about my lifestyle and beliefs. And it’s never in a kind manner either: it’s as if they are very insecure about their position and have to pull out all kinds of statistics that somehow prove that aetheists are “more intelligent,” or “more evolved,” than Christians.

It’s like breastfeeding mothers telling bottle feeding mothers that “we’re sorry but statistics show that your child will not have adequate brain development and you also will have no chance of bonding with her/him.” A) the breast feeders could be right but then again perhaps they are wrong – statistics are changing all of the time and I’m not convinced that they really prove anything in the end and B) as a compassionate human being I don’t want the bottlefeeding mother to feel bad about herself and worry about things that may not be proven true and the thing is that its just downright rude to treat someone that way, quite nasty really, a form of bullying you might say.

As you can see, I’ve been saving up all of my quotes below and I hope I don’t have to have this conversation again. So please, all of you aetheists out there you are NEVER going to convert me – it’s quite futile – please stop choking up my newsfeed on Facebook with your rantings and just back the hell off!

aethism and superiority

aethist and insecure

aethism and preachy

preachy aethist3

aethism and annoyance

aethist and sex