I miss her running monologue…

That’s right, my twelve year old daughter went back to school yesterday and I miss her! I know, I’m not supposed to say that, I’m supposed to be celebrating my freedom, right? She was here for six weeks over the summer holidays and from the moment we woke up to the moment we went to sleep I had her running monologue directed my way as her best friend was away on holiday for the entire time.

Without the influence of school she went back to being my sweet, honey child. We crafted together, cooked together, went shopping together, experimented with make-up, nail polish and hairstyles on each other … she confided in me her every thought, feeling and secret as 12 year old’s are apt to do.

I remember all of the reasons that I started to homeschool in the first place, way back in 2007. I do so wish we could homeschool again but their father and other influences stepped in and changed all of that.

Very disturbing things happen at high school that you have absolutely no control over. Here’s an example: my daughter found herself with her first boyfriend recently but was ‘dumped’ after 48 hours because she wouldn’t produce a nude pic of herself and was then called ‘frigid.’ If I ever see that boy I may just wring his scrawny little neck. It’s ok, I’m calm!!! She then went on to question her own shortcomings in a typical female fashion (meaning that she blamed the break up on herself!) until I reassured her that her dignity, self respect and self-control would see her going far in life and that the boy that was right for her would never ask her to do something like that. Other words like ‘scum of the earth’ may have slipped out too.  Here’s the alarming thing: nearly all of her friends are doing this !

On a similiar and yet entirely different note, my other daughter was grabbed while walking through a street in the City of Melbourne by a crazed ‘secret admirer’ who declared his undying love for her and tried to drag her off into an alleyway. Luckily for her she was able to break free and run. She later found out that he had done the same thing to another very attractive girl from her friend’s workplace just down the street. My mind reels with the ‘could haves.’ For example, what if he was one of those guys you hear about who was actually implanting horse tranquiliser into her skin as he was grabbing her or worse still, placed a hankerchief with chloroform over her mouth before she had time to realise what was happening …

Why oh why can’t my babies stay at home under my wing where they belong 🙁

IMG_8130

One year out of marriage, single and loving it:

That’s right, it’s one year already and my life has been radically transformed. My life has always been like this: I seem to only have relatively small periods of quiet and then the winds of change blow through and nothing remains the same. I’ve become used to it now.

 

 So to recap, my marriage ended, I found myself back on the single scene, I was helping with my grandson for large blocks of time every week until he moved interstate, my three older children moved out, I considered 3 or 4 different career possibilities, thought about going back to school, am selling my beloved house of 17 years, took boarders into my house, changed cars, dated a man who was completely different to my usual ‘type,’ gave up my internet addiction, became friends with my ex-husband after months of friction, got my passport ready because it’s just a matter of time now before my daughter and I travel overseas, became aware of the many health concerns for myself and two of my children (more on that later), gave up chocolate … no just kidding, that will never happen 🙂

 

The reason for my joy is twofold: I’ve had a wonderful support system both online and in real life, people who have let me go to them, talk to them, who have visited me to ‘check in’ and kept in constant contact. There have been a few people who have questioned me; “but I thought you had the perfect marriage, it certainly seemed that way, so what’s really going on?” And it’s been difficult to explain to those curious people that a) the problems that I had in my marriage were not the sort of problems you talk about and b) I’m not the type to want to continually bombard other people with my problems, I prefer to try and sort it out myself.

 

The other reason for my joy is that I love to be single! Ok, I said it, the thing that many married people really want to say but can never admit to. I’m one of those people who, when a relationship ends I want to throw a party because that means I’m single again! Woo-hoo, time to celebrate! And it’s not about the sex either – although this year has taught me that sex is everywhere and anyone can get it whenever they like. I’ve had several men pursue me this year but I politely turned them all away except for one who I dated until the differences in our personalities and life goals became so glaringly obvious that we had to part.

 

But, and here’s the kicker, guess what? Life is not an ‘either OR’ situation. Let me explain: I thought for years that I had only two options; I either stayed in my unhappy marriage OR resigned myself to being alone and sad for the rest of my life. Poppycock!! There are soooo many options these days one of which is to remain ‘happily single.’ Fortunately for me I know a lot of other people who are pursuing this lifestyle and so I don’t feel alone in my choices.

 

The wonderful thing about getting older is that you are more sure of your decisions and become more self-contained. Well, I am anyway. Back in my 20’s if a relationship ended I would smoke myself silly, binge drink, lose lots of weight and go straight back out there to find someone to replace my lost love even if it meant settling – it was the only way I could ease the heartache. These days I’m more inclined to pack his things tidily into a little box, change my facebook settings and wave ‘byee’ from the front door as I enthusiastically, mentally plan my next step in my jam packed life. I mean, I have a big family and lots of friends and many dreams to travel, write and craft.

 

There’s so much more I’ve learnt this year about the dating scene which will probably be my next article eg: are dating sites really all they’re cracked up to be. Stay tuned 🙂

 

free spirit

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Latest family pics:

Let's try and get this soda fountain going :)
Let’s try and get this soda fountain going :)
Mum, I'm too old for you to lecture me now...
Mum, I’m too old for you to lecture me now…
Guess who won best costume award for her handmade Clockwork Doll costume
Guess who won best costume award for her handmade Clockwork Doll costume
A rare loving moment between sisters
A rare loving moment between sisters
Let's have a coffee and a catch up at Madi's work
Let’s have a coffee and a catch up at Madi’s work
Off to Year 12 graduation dinner
Off to Year 12 graduation dinner

madi

He's growing up ...
He’s growing up …
Precious newborn pups and Bella had a fast lesson in how to raise them.
Precious newborn pups and Bella had a fast lesson in how to raise them.
Growing up fast.
Growing up fast.
Loving being out on the water.
Loving being out on the water.
I'll tickle and tip you !
I’ll tickle and tip you !
It's water play time.
It’s water play time.
The Karate Kid
The Karate Kid
Snow play is so much fun !
Snow play is so much fun !
Our first snowman
Our first snowman
Aunty Bella loves to paint my face :)
Aunty Bella loves to paint my face :)
Throwing rocks at the creek is so much fun
Throwing rocks at the creek is so much fun
... so is swimming with Aunty Bella.
… so is swimming with Aunty Bella.

Are you ready for some of the latest family pics?